This is a very Personal Post. Divorce can be a very Ugly thing. If it feels like you are losing a part of yourself, YOU ARE. Now there is where my Personal opinion comes into play. People get divorced for many reason some are the same and some are different. I fought hard for my Marriage. I was the GOOD WIFE. I ended wearing myself out in the process. I was sad, I was depressed, and I wanted out. I won’t go into great detail of what went wrong in my marriage with you, but once I found the strength to leave it wasn’t easy. I did things wrong I wasn’t perfect. I may have been the “Good Wife”, but I will never claim to be the “Perfect One”. When I left I was scared I’d go back. You always hear about the wife giving in and going back. I am thankful I had so real Loving and Helping hands to hold me firm on my Choice. The option to change my mind was always there, but I knew what my life had been and I could see what it would have been if I went back.
Divorce is like a Hurricane, I am from the south and when a hurricane is coming we baton down the hatches and hold fort or get in your car and get the heck out of town. I didn’t have an option to get out of town. I had to stand my ground and pray that I would make it through the storm. It has been a year now and looking back I can see I have grown. It is small improvements in my life and a lot of hard work and more hard work to come.
So when I said if it feels like you are losing a part of yourself in a divorce you are, it’s so true. Some of us are the ones that left and others are the ones that was left. It’s hard on either side of the fence. You feel like you lost the person you loved no matter what. In my Case I left and I though I was lost when I left. I didn’t know anything about myself anymore. I lost the old me in my divorce. I am becoming an better person everyday. I am so happy about my choice and even on rough days I look at my little goals as stepping stones.
Stepping Stones helped me make it through my divorce. I celebrated every tiny positive thing I could over the last year. I was proud of myself when I was able to walk away from a heated argument. Gone was the girl that stood there and bit her lip and took it, I just walked away. I was proud of myself when I had the ability to just shut and lock my door. I didn’t have to listen to that. How about hanging up the phone? Yes it’s rude, but when a train is running away at the mouth derail it! When it seems nothing is going right I tell myself that’s okay, Who said it would?
So my Stepping Stones have brought me a Year from when I left, a Year from my old self, and this 2015 a New Year to a even Better Brighter Self. So this last day in November I am thankful to celebrate a New Me, ever bettering myself and growing to a New wonderful woman I was always supposed to be.