I Cannot Call You Anymore…

Best Friends   It has been two years since we last spoke. Our last conversation was a little bit one sided, mainly me talking and you listening. I told you it was okay to go. Those words are still ringing in my ears to this day. I cannot call you and catch up, I cannot sit and visit with you just like I use to, I cannot share moments I want to share with you. The first year was rough and my life was a mess.  It’s still a mess , but getting better each day. When a good moment came I would reach for my Phone and dial your number and it would always automatically go to voice mail. I couldn’t leave a message it just wasn’t possible. I keep your photos around the house and I smile when I look at them.I keep one photo close to my bed and it is the last thing I see before I close my eyes and the first when I wake.  I have written a few letters just to get what I need off my chest, but the post office cannot deliver them. I wear your old t-shirt and I admit it makes me feel closer to you. I even catch you in some of my dreams, you  walk through with out saying much, sometimes you give me advice and other times you may be hiding in the crowd. Here is a letter I wanted to send to you today…

Mother,

So much has changed since you have been gone. I know you are in a  better place and I am so glad that you are with family and friends. I know you are looking down and I know you are listening. I can hear your words of advice ringing in my ears. I hear your voice come straight out of my mouth and at times I catch a glimpse of you starring back at me in the mirror. I miss you so much.

I am so sorry for the times I didn’t pick up the phone and call you. I am sorry for the times I didn’t answer when you called. I thought I was too busy or that I had time, I was wrong. It’s normal to think there will be time, but we have no clue of how much time each of us have.

I want you to know I fought for my happiness. I know we talked about it and you knew I was scared. I know you already know this, but it was worth the battle. I found happiness and I am still in a fight, but I won’t give in. I want to thank you for for all the advice you gave me even the advice I didn’t listen to. Thank you for always being that phone call away and for calling me faithfully even when I didn’t answer. Thank you for my amazing family without them I don’t think I would be as strong as I am.

Today Makes two years and to be honest it feels like I should still be able to pick up the phone and call you. Believe me I tried. You left a mark on the world, whether you know it or not, you left broken hearts that have grown stronger just from knowing you and remembering you. I will always remember you and I will always love you.

Sorry if this letter seems a bit scattered it is not easy to get the words out. I want to make a promise that I will do all I can for my children as you did for us. I know there were sacrifices you made that I didn’t know as a child and the same goes for my children. I thought you was wrong on many occasions and I now know I was wrong. Thank you for all the love even when it wasn’t spoken, we always knew you loved us no matter what. Thank you for not following up with your threat of scrubbing off my Tattoo with a wire brush that would have hurt. Thank you for all the burnt cheese toast.  Thank you for The laughs, the tears, and the hugs. Thank you for letting me make my mistakes and being there when I realized what they were and needed help fixing them.

Thank you so much for all that you did and for continuing to watch over us.

Love,

Your daughter Jeana

It has been Two years since my mother lost her fight with breast cancer. It was aggressive and left us blind sided.  I will always miss her, but I will always have her. Time is a irrelevant  and you do not have any so do not kid yourself into thinking you do. Be happy and make others happy through your happiness it’s contagious. If your kids are small and want you to act the fool and have a blast with them do so. Don’t wait. If you are sad and you do not like the way your life is going change it because tomorrow is Today.

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Meeting Me December 31,2015

I am part of  group and we do challenges, Today’s challenge is to write about bumping into Yourself on December 31st, 2015. Whoa! My mind is buzzing at this thought. What will she be like, look like, what has she done, accomplished, is she happy?

So I am going to close my eyes and imagine me…Me on December 31, 2015……

Appearance at first sight:   I can see her walking this way, First thing I notice is her smile, It is Radiant, She looks great. She lost that 100 lbs and is rocking a Healthy Body. She is looking happy and walking tall with confidence. She looks very put together, wearing a nice outfit and not a sweater or hoodie, but a flattering jacket.  Something like this:

Found on Pinterest

She greets me with a warm smile and hug, (people that know me know I am not open like this but would like to be) We go to a coffee shop and sit and talk about what she is up to.

She has been married to the love of her life for 8 months now. They just celebrated an amazing Christmas with friends and family. She is still rocking her Younique business and has 25 people in her down line now. She has reached Green status and Making enough money to cover the things she wanted. No more worrying about how to get things paid for anymore. Her debt has been lowered and she is working on that Bachelors degree looking forward to finishing it. She has straighten out her credit and started building an emergency fund. She still writes a blog and it too has started making her money. She has even started Painting again. She stops and talks to a nice lady behind our table about the 3d lashes and shows no sign of fear or worry that she may be rejected. She turns back tells me she has even gotten more followers on her Youtube channel. She finally got everything on a Scheduled and was sticking with it. She told me how amazing the Younique Convention was In Chicago and that she was making plans to make one of the cruises that the company does. She was even setting up her wish of further supporting the Younique fund for abused women.

She told me that her Goals for 2016 was to strive for black status. She wants to push her creative abilities and even try to have 3 E books done by the end of the year. She is setting up to take the kids on a cruise for their summer. She wants to stay focused on her business and her healthy life. Now from losing the 100 lbs she want to focus on keeping her body toned and even join some 5k’s this year.

What an amazing visit. She told me something I have been telling myself for the last 18 months, only look back to see how far you have come. I keep telling myself this and Now that the challenge has made me really look forward into my life and what I know I want to be …I have a mind set to reach for those dreams.

What if you met you? I challenge you to write about meeting yourself… post it here in the comments!!

True Friendship: Rare

    True Friendship

is 

Rare

  I received some items from home, that is Texas, and I am proudly sitting in my dining area with two tables now. One was my grandmothers and when I first got the table it smelled of coffee. If I was feeling sad I would lay my head on the table and breath it in. It always brought me back home. The smell is now long gone and Now I have my Mothers table, Our table, the Family Table, I am siting at it now. This table brings backs memories as well. I remember sitting next to my left handed brother and having elbow fights while trying to eat. I remember many mornings of burned cheese toast being the center of attention on the table. Even the occasional hysterics of someone making mother spit tea out in a burst across the table. This table brings me Home. 

    Along with the table I received several other times and one was some precious belongings that were dear to my mother. My mother had something truly rare. This was so very rare it was a True Friend. I cannot go into detail about it because it immediately sends me into tears, my eyes are watering and I am already fighting a lump in my throat. I have memories , of my mothers final days and memories of her dearest friend being by her side. One could only wish have have a friend like this. I found a few scraps of paper  they were notes from the dear friend to my mother. I created this picture to have always in a digital way. I feel it should be shared with friends to friends. Anyhow now I am too emotional to continue to write. I hope you like this little piece of art. 

Thank you for reading. 

Coffee Date

Well Hello, and Thank you for stopping by!

So Grab a seat and how do you like your coffee?  like the quote I found on Pinterest

“If my life was a Flavor,it would be coffee”

Pinterest

I thought it would be nice to just kick back and chat for a spell over some coffee. I know my activity has been basically Non-Existent on here and I promise I have tried to write to you. It just seems my motivation has disappeared  completely. I knew that it was bound to happen the signs were all there’s looming over me, taunting me, saying you are on the line of quitting today. Well ,HA!  I didn’t quiet. I have sat down with a cup of coffee and looked over everything and I can say what I had set out to do was great, but too much at once.

It’s like running you don’t just sit on the couch for years and then on a Tuesday jump up and run a 5k with out breaking an sweat. I tried to do this and now I am burned out and Granny just passed me up. So I need to evaluate what I want and make it where it works for me. I have my Blog, Business times 3, #365Beautiful, #100ofHappiness, daily life, job searching, kids, youtube channel, college, and Coffee. I need balance. I am not graceful  I am a Jumbled mess. So balance is something I need to work at Setting rules like I set at the start of the year and sticking to them.

I know, know you are a great friend and you are right I need to set times. If you are struggling with things like this you may want to try what I am going to try. Just like I set time aside for college and I have to time manage what I do and how I do it for a big paper that has to be done, I need to do the same for all other things. Daily life will keep going and moving there is really no way to stop it or schedule it all completely in. The other things like the blog and businesses I need to set a specific time that I will sit and focus and accomplish what needs to be done.

I have printed out some free daily planner pages to help me pencil in what I will be doing each day. From 8am till 2pm I need to manage all my time I possibly can. That way when the kids get home from school I have all my focus and time with them and I can learn how to shut off the work, work, work that keeps repeating it’s self in my brain.

How do you handle things? How do you organize or schedule things that have to be done? I would love to hear about your time management and please share all that you do or know!!

End of the Year Review: Day Five

If you are just joining me on my blog and you are new to the End of the year Review please follow the links to catch up. I have already Posted Day One, Day Two, Day Three, Day Four of the A New Year A New You by Lisa Jacobs.

I have hit a snag of my review. Where Lisa started out this review I have managed to in my own fashion mess it up. (stop and just laugh at self) It is okay I will be ending here with Day Five. Because My Day 5 is really Lisa’s Day 6. I did all the same steps as Lisa I just put Day one and Two together so it leaves me finishing up differently than her. To see how Lisa did hers and to find more detail about the Review I Strongly suggest following the link above and following along with her as well.

With that said here is Day Five

Remember that worksheet Lisa gave us? Did you fill it out? I did and it was really helpful in seeing my goals laid out in a way that just breaks them apart and reminds me of what and why I am trying to accomplish Once you have picked what you want to do for each of the Five pillars you can then break them down on how you want to make each happen. On Lisa’s blog she shows you how she broke down losing weight. She suggest you get a big drawing pad to map out these and I have not bought one yet, I just used a few sheets of printer paper and Markers to make them fun and colorful.  Here is a pic of the one Lisa has on her blog :

She talked about getting a 5 subject Notebook and putting each one of the five pillars in it for each section. I really like this idea. Seeing how I did mine out on Printer paper I am going to just get a binder and fill it with notebook paper and put each one of the drawn out pages on the front of some dividers to separate the book.

It is hard to set goals and accomplish them, you always start out so gun-ho about them and ready to make all these amazing changes, sure you may even stick with them for a month or two. I am usually lucky if I make it out of that frist month.

Here is my tip for your goals: It’s okay to fail.

It is it’s okay if you make it only two weeks,then you don’t work out for three days, but don’t let it just fall all to pieces. I will give you an example

#365Beautiful, You will see this all over my blog for the rest of the year. This is a project I have set my sights on and I am very happy with it. I started it NOT on the First of January… I was late getting it launched… I should have just gave up.. I didn’t I went a head and posted and shot it across all my social media. I have had  to fight with being sick, I have fought with the bad weather, the internet going down, my wordpress not working with me, and just plain I don’t feel like getting up and doing it. I had days of work that needed to be caught up so that I was doing only one Photo Look a day. Today is the 7th of January and I had to do 3 looks for today just to get caught up.Thankfully I didn’t give up. I have a long road ahead of me. How am I going to stay motivated and keep going?…

I have set up accountability friends to keep me in check

I have set a Plan to keep me ahead during the weeks I have all my kids at home (cause it gets CRAZY)

I have mapped it all out and posted it where I can see it every day.

I even have a dry erase board on my fridge that I jot down my TO DO’s for the next Day Each night.

Sometimes just taking it day by day won’t work, and other times you have to just go with the flow. It can be rough and you will get frustrated and discouraged and just want to throw in the towel. DON’T!! You are going to fall, but it’s what you do when you stand back up. Don’t just lay there, stand up and take that step. I have a motivation board in my kitchen and on it is  five index cards that read …

  1. Reflect- What went wrong? Why am I off track?
  2. Make a Plan- How will you get back on track?
  3. Motivation- Surround yourself with it. Keep the Positive and remove the Negative.
  4. Small Goals= Large Goals- Do what you can accomplish today!
  5. Do It- Now you have what you need so get out there. You may fail again just RINSE and REPEAT 1-5

As I said at the start of this post  got “sort of ” off track with Lisa please check out her blog she as so much to offer it really is worth looking into. I am finishing with today Day five, On hers it goes for 7 days. On her Day 7 she gives you more support and ideas, as well as how to Map out !!  HIGHLY advise reading her posts all the way through before starting it will give you more info and inspiration. Check out Lisa’s Your Best Year 2015 workbook, I have already downloaded it and started working in it. Very helpful and full of supportive information to getting you to your goals this year!! And just remember that these goals for the New Year should not by any means give you anxiety There should be goals that give you that positive good feeling.

Thank you for reading and remember to follow so not to ever miss a post!!!

End of The Year Reflection: Day Four

Day Four

     I have to stop and give Two apologies,One I was all set and had three posts ready to go and then I got a stomach bug and it brought me down. Spent two days in bed and I am just getting around to posting. I Posted Day One, Day Two, Day Three  of the A New Year A New You by Lisa Jacobs and Now I am working on Day Four/Five of Seven Days.  Second, I didn’t quiet follow how Lisa set up her days for this task. She would post the prompt and then reply to it the following day with the next days’ prompt. I have been posting the prompt and showing you how I answered it.  Thank you so much for your viewing and I look forward to an amazing New Year 2015 with you.

Choosing Your Intentions for 2015

Today Lisa prompts us to explore the Five Pillars of a Harmonic life, she links to … Harmonic Wealth: The Secret of Attracting the Life You Want by James Arthur Ray:

  • Financial:
  • Spiritual:
  • Mental:
  • Relational:
  • Physical:

Now she wan’ts us to apply the above to the questions below she got these questions from  MONEY Master the Game: 7 Simple Steps to Financial Freedom by Tony Robbins

  1. What do I really want? (vision)
  2. What is important about it? (values)
  3. How will I get it? (methods)
  4. What is preventing me from having it? (obstacles)
  5. How will I know I am successful? (measurements)

She even gives us a worksheet that we can Pin or Print out and use to help us along the way of choosing our best Intentions for 2015

Now for my Answers

  • Financial:   This year I am working on increasing my income and getting rid of my debt. I know these are typical goals, but for me there are a few past issues on my credit and it is time for them to go. I have a House in my future to build!
  • Spiritual: I am currently looking for a church in my area to join. I am a spiritual person and I am tapping into other spiritual ways of healing the soul. I journal, and I try to meditate. I have noticed that since December my mind refuses to go to bed and be quiet so that is the main goal I am looking to achieve :Find Spiritual Stillness and Quiet my Mind.
  • Mental:   As above I said my Mind will not be still, but I want to continue to grow mentally as well, I want to improve my business and I love reading other blogs, learning and sharing what I find with all of you. So my Goal is to read or watch at least one Inspirational or motivational speaker a week. I was going to set it for a day, but I will start with once a week and increase as I develop a schedule.
  • Relational:   Money is tight and when things are tight it seems the fun has stopped. This year I want to make more memories, More experiences for my family. We will take a vacation this year even if it’s just to see my parents in Texas. I want to spend some time with just me and my Boyfriend (soon to be Hubby) This year maybe a cruise or just a 3 day weekend in NOLa.
  • Physical:  We all say it ” Lose WEIGHT” I don’t care what that Number is on the scale. I want to set a daily exercise routine and get the whole family MOVING. I want to eat better and less junk. I am very proud to say I started removing the Junk food last year and It has been a wonderful thing for the whole family. I have one serious Picky eater my oldest and hopefully we will have a break though this year.

This is was very interesting to sit down and do. I actually Printed the Work page and had to fill it out on the back as well.  It looks different from just typing it out. I am really more of a pen and paper kind of gal. I have to say this is one print out that will be used again.  Looking forward to Sharing Day 6 with you Tomorrow.

End of the Year Review: Day Three

Today is Day Three of the Year Review. This is a Review I found on a blog that I am just In love with as of right now. If you are just now joining me on my blog you can follow back to Day One or Day Two. This A New Year A New You By Lisa Jacobs is a wonderful way to end 2014 and start 2015. I am always at a loss for where to start with anything. Even when I used to paint a Blank white canvas would scare the Hello out of me, I’d paint it grey or blue just to get things going and more at ease. I have been working on a business that is dear to me Younique you will see me mention it often as it is a wonderful company that influences me and many other women out there. Today’s Prompt is all about setting policies. Now you may not see a use for some of these in your personal life, but if you look at some in a new perspective they could be great policies to look further into.

We are going to be setting policies and I am needing this to guide myself and business. Thank you for reading and please come back real soon for Day Four out of Seven.

  1. The Best Way to Reach Me:     The best way to reach me is through Facebook. I do use the Facebook Messenger on my cell phone *I am not worried about the privacy issues, I looked into it and I am comfortable having the app* Second best way to reach me is through my email. Facebook Fan Page
  2. The Best Time to Reach Me:     Any Time is a good time. I try to respond as quickly as possible. If it is a weekend You will have to wait till Monday. I will see your email or post and make it priority to answer with in 24 hours. I have my kids all together every other week and Everything is all about them when they are home.
  3. How I prefer to be Treated:     I want to be treated the same way you want to be treated. I am a problem solver and I am a very caring person. Don’t abuse me or my kind nature.
  4. What I will not Tolerate:     I will not tolerate any rude or sour behavior. We are adults and need to remember that. I do not respond to negativity as I work very hard to keep it from my life.
  5. My hours of availability:     Just as any business , M-F, 9-5, If you see I am around and posting on social media go ahead and drop me a line or two.
  6. My pricing policies:     As of right now My prices are set by Younique and I cannot change that. However I do have a Secret Shop where I post special offers that cannot be publicly announced anywhere, but in that Secret Shop Group On Facebook. Check it out …I’ll add you as a member
  7. For those seeking free advice:     Advice can be given on any topic I am always a good listening ear (or reader) I do not judge and love to help if I can.
  8. my confidentiality agreement: Confidentiality is not really a part of my business at the moment, But No matter what we speak or Type of It stays between us I am not going to broadcast you to anyone else unless we have spoke on the matter of sharing what you have to offer.
  9. My Policy on collaborations: same as above
  10. My policy on refunds and returns: If you purchase a Younique Product from the Younique Website you are entitled to the Love It Guarantee.  If you receive an special offer or buy from me personally in person then there is no guarantee.

I am so glad I sat down and took the time to fill this out. My business is very important to me, just as my personal home life. I want to be there for you as well as maintain a balance of work and home.